Well, the various other day ns told Jane she blouse to be pretty as soon as it was yes, really pee-ew.

You are watching: The story on page one family guy

Anus, I"m serious.

Look, periodically it"s better to phone call a small fib than to ache someone"s feelings.

You"re the best.

Oh, that was good.

Funnier than the one wherein Anus obtained the hamster stuck in his mouth.

♪ It seems today that all you check out ♪♪ is violence in movies and s*x ~ above TV. ♪♪ however where space those good old-fashioned values ♪♪ on which we offered to rely? ♪♪ lucky there"s a family guy. ♪♪ happy there"s a guy who positively can do ♪♪ every the things that make us ♪♪ laugh and also cry ♪♪ He"s... A... Fam... Ily... Guy! ♪

Ah, the old alma mater. Ns tell you, there"s something magical about Brown.

Brown"s the colour of poo!

Yes. Yes, it is.

Oh, i haven"t been on a university campus in years.

Everything appears so different.

Really?

If friend laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a bell.

Excuse me. We"re here to check out the dean.

Nobody watch the dean. Not nobody, not nohow.

I"m sorry. Have the right to I aid you?

Yes, this is Meg Griffin. She"s below to see the dean the admissions and also we"d, uh, choose it if she gained into the university.

Go on. Take it.

Wait over there.

My days in college to be so exciting.

This one time the nationwide Guard came and shot some of my friends.

You should be the Griffins. Come in.

Oops. Honey, you gained a little smudge.

Hey, you acquired something on your other cheek too.

And this is Pembroke Quad.

Oh, very nice. An extremely Brideshead Revisited.

Being ~ above this campus yes, really brings ago memories.

Cowards!

What ho? A veritable bevy of co-eds.

Um... The current campus sporting event was most disappointing for our side, wasn"t it?

Oh, aren"t you adorable? are you in a fraternity, tiny boy?

Not yet, yet I"m thinking around joining ns Phelta Thi.

Oh.

So, what execute you think that this "music television"?

If ns remember correctly, this is the physics department.

That describes all the gravity.

I say! It"s favor the spice rack in my fantasy kitchen!

Hold on, tiny fella! This is just for huge people.

Why don"t friend come earlier in around 17 years?

But the shelf life the that salt Pentothal is only two years and...

Blast! This isn"t the an initial time I"ve to be thwarted by my little stature.

OK, our next lot is number 15 in your programme.

This is a one-of-a-kind item, a super-mega death ray.

It"s got the strength to enslave the whole human race. Execute we have actually an opened bid?

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Anything?

Ooh! Ooh!

We"ll take any type of bid.

Here!

It deserve to enslave the human race. Come on. It"s solid titanium.

You! here in the back!

Do ns hear $100? $5?

Oh, come on.

Yeah! Ooh!

Free?

Enslave the person race.

Behind the fat chick!

Nope?

D"oh!

OK.

Ooh! Ooh!

Argh!

I"m exhausted of being small.

I wish ns was big.

Blast!

Well, let"s take a look at at your transcript.

"Meg." Hm.

That"s not an extremely impressive.

It"s just three letters. It"s solid a surname at all.

I never ever wanted to call her Meg.

I wanted to contact her Twiki. Yet Lois said children now wouldn"t get the reference.

You understand what I"m talk about? Bidibidibidi.

I"m not certain you"re Brown material. Don"t girlfriend have any type of extracurricular activities?

Well, I"m president of the Luke Perry fan club, Quahog chapter.

But I"ve want to walk to Brown ever because I to be a little girl.

Well, actually, i really wanted to go to Wellesley however Mom claimed I might too buy hiking boots and also call myself a lesbian right now.

Meg! Eat your salad.

We"re not having actually dinner.

Then be quiet.

I have actually no future! I"m just gonna wait in my room till I"m dead.

I"ll it is in in shortly.

We"ve gotta perform something.

If Meg doesn"t acquire into college, that knows what future she"ll have?

You ain"t getting this meat. This is mine meat.

Shut up. I found this meat.

I"m never gonna obtain into college.

You just need much more extracurricular activities.

You might get a part-time job.

I had one once I remained in high school.

Oh! Argh!

Argh!

That"ll be $27.50.

Come on. There"s gotta be a hundreds clubs at your school.

Uh, well, ns do have actually a girlfriend on the school newspaper.

Attagirl. And I gained your very first story best here.

Lois, I an obstacle you to a race roughly the world.

Go!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

We require a photo for the former page.

Hold on. Ns gotta rinse my retainer.

I"m trying to find something prefer the spread out in critical month"s Vanity Fair.

That to be so sweet. It to be wicked, awesome.

Stop the presses! It"s Meg!

I"m simply joshing. It"s all done ~ above Xerox. What have the right to I do you?

Look, Neil, I require an task to obtain into Brown. The file is my last hope.

Can i be a reporter?

I don"t know, Meg.

You never seem to be that interested in journalism-or journalists, such together myself.

You know, I never ever realised exactly how smooth the skin in between your acne is.

OK, I"ll give you a shot. I"ve never been may be to get an interview through the mayor.

You get it and I"ll make you a reporter.

You acquired it.

Run, small rabbit, run. However some work our two civilizations will be one.

I expect my face removes up through then.

Excuse me, Mayor?

How execute you know my language?

Listen come me. My entire future is in her hands.

Are you sarah Connor?

No, I"m Meg Griffin. I must interview you.

You"re through the press?

Yes.

Well, friend can"t interview a dead man... Deserve to you?

What about my interview?

Mayor West inquiry me to give you this.

Uh-oh.

Of course, girlfriend realise this method war.

No.

No, that"s what they"ll it is in expecting.

Mayor West?

Well, well, mr Toilet. I thought you were in the Hamptons.

No. No, no, it"s me, Meg Griffin.

I don"t speak to the press under any circumstances.

What makes you think I"ll talk now?

This.

You simply don"t give up, carry out you?

You take life by the throat and shake it favor a topless bartender mixing a martini.

You"ve acquired your interview.

Thanks!

Hey! Hey! listen to this.

Do i sound favor I"m on old-time radio?

Mm! Oh!

No an ext treats. You"re gonna spoil her dinner.

Oh, come on!

Oh, damn my tiny stature.

If ns were big, oh, simply think whereby I would certainly be.

Tired of not being able come find clothes that fit? I recognize I was.

That"s why I began Stewie"s huge and Tall man Shop. If you"re portly or tall, you"ll find a friendly setting brimming v personalised and expert service.

Hey, Stewie, how"s the weather increase there?

Very fair... Like our prices.

Hey, dude. You want several of these?

I say, here"s the systems to my troubles.

If ns could build a maker to exploit the dimension of the leviathan, there"s no border to what ns could... Oh, my God, there"s an orgy in my mouth.

"Got milk?" That"s a funny one too.

Oh, and, uh "I acquired ya, diagonally".

"Pretty sneaky, sis." that one"s likewise funny.

Mayor West, you"ve been talk for one hour and also I don"t have actually anything I deserve to use.

Can"t you just please...

My God! Somebody"s stealing my water.

It simply went under the drain.

They"re crafty, ns tell you. The happens as soon as you the very least expect it.

Show yourself, damn you! I"ve to be investigating him for months.

It"s price $150,000 of the taxpayers" money however I"ll find the culprits if it expenses me a million.

You invested public money investigate this?

Thanks. Girlfriend know, ns think I have actually my story.

Your story? Wait a minute!

You can"t print that! It"ll damage my entire investigation!

Well, thank God she"s just a figment of my imagination.

Well, let"s take it the old boy the end for a spin. Eye open!

Voice test: I"m Chris.

I"m Chris.

Eviscerate the proletariat.

Eviscerate the proletariat!

Puttin" on the Ritz!

Not mine bit, however still funny. Device off.

Splendid.

I go it! I obtained a good story.

So, what did her editor say?

He was gone for the work so i left it on his desk.

But here, I lugged you a copy.

Oh, mine God. "Corruption in City Hall." This is amazing.

Hey, let me watch that.

This"ll never get Meg top top the paper. This is old news.

There have been politics scandals because Thomas Jefferson.

Oh, hold on. Honey, let"s gain all the children in this.

I recognize kids, and also this story"s gonna placed "em to sleep.

Meg requirements something that"ll pull those kids away from their Rock "Em sock "Em robots and their Spirographs and also their Moby Grape and also their 90210.

Luke Perry. That"s it! Brian, I obtained my story.

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Now, to gain this story top top the college editor"s workdesk is gonna take a portion of my cunning.